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Books Our Clinicians Recommend

Clients ask for reading recommendations constantly, usually somewhere around session three. These are the books our clinicians hand out most often, grouped by what you are working through and annotated with what each one is useful for.

Book a free 15-minute consultMeet our clinicians

Understanding trauma

  • The Body Keeps the Score

    Bessel van der Kolk

    The book most people have heard of, and deservedly. Van der Kolk's argument is that trauma lives in the body and the nervous system rather than only in memory, which explains why insight alone often fails to resolve it. Be aware that it contains detailed case material that some readers find activating; if you are early in trauma work, ask your clinician whether now is the right time.

    Find it on Amazon

  • What Happened to You?

    Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey

    Covers similar ground more gently, in conversation format. A good choice if The Body Keeps the Score feels like too much, and a good one to hand to a family member who is trying to understand.

    Find it on Amazon

  • It Didn't Start With You

    Mark Wolynn

    On inherited family patterns and how trauma transmits across generations. Useful when the thing you are struggling with does not seem to originate in your own history.

    Find it on Amazon

How we work with trauma

Anxiety

  • The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

    Edmund Bourne

    The standard workbook, and genuinely comprehensive. It only works if you do the exercises, which is true of every workbook and worth saying plainly.

    Find it on Amazon

  • Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life

    Steven Hayes

    The accessible introduction to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Particularly good for people who have tried to argue themselves out of anxious thoughts and found that it does not work.

    Find it on Amazon

  • Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers

    Robert Sapolsky

    Not a self-help book. It is a readable explanation of what chronic stress does physiologically, and for people who want to understand the mechanism before they will accept the treatment, it is often the one that gets them there.

    Find it on Amazon

How we work with anxiety

Depression and mood

  • Feeling Good

    David Burns

    The classic cognitive behavioral text. Dated in places, still effective, and the thought records at its center are the same tool a CBT clinician will use with you.

    Find it on Amazon

  • The Upward Spiral

    Alex Korb

    Neuroscience-grounded and specific about small behavioral changes that shift mood. Useful for people who find "just exercise" advice insulting but would respond to an explanation of why it works.

    Find it on Amazon

  • Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

    Lori Gottlieb

    A therapist's account of her own therapy alongside her clients' work. The best answer we know to "what happens in there," and frequently the book that gets a reluctant person to try.

    Find it on Amazon

How we work with depression

Couples and relationships

  • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

    John Gottman

    The foundation of most of our couples work. Built on decades of observational research at the Gottman Institute into what predicts whether relationships last.

    Find it on Amazon

  • Hold Me Tight

    Sue Johnson

    The Emotionally Focused Therapy counterpart, organized around attachment and the negative cycles couples fall into. Many couples find one of these two speaks to them and the other does not; that is fine and tells you something.

    Find it on Amazon

  • Attached

    Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

    On adult attachment styles. Sometimes over-applied as a personality typing system, but useful for understanding why you and your partner respond to distance and closeness so differently.

    Find it on Amazon

Couples counseling at Aurora

Parenting and children

  • How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

    Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

    Decades old and still the most practical parenting communication book in print.

    Find it on Amazon

  • The Whole-Brain Child

    Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

    Explains what is happening developmentally during a meltdown and what to do about it. Short, and the cartoons are genuinely helpful.

    Find it on Amazon

  • Good Inside

    Becky Kennedy

    Current, warm, and specific about repairing after you lose your temper, which every parent does.

    Find it on Amazon

  • Brainstorm

    Daniel Siegel

    On the adolescent brain, for parents who are trying to understand rather than only manage.

    Find it on Amazon

Child and teen therapy

Skills and self-relationship

  • Self-Compassion

    Kristin Neff

    On the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion, and why the second is more durable. Particularly useful for high-achieving people whose internal voice is brutal.

    Find it on Amazon

  • DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets

    Marsha Linehan

    The actual clinical workbook. Not a casual read, but if you are in DBT-informed work, this is the source. See DBT therapy.

    Find it on Amazon

  • Burnout

    Emily and Amelia Nagoski

    On completing the stress cycle rather than only managing stressors. Written with women in mind and useful well beyond that.

    Find it on Amazon

  • Permission to Feel

    Marc Brackett

    On emotional literacy, from the founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. Good for adults who were never taught to name what they feel, and for parents who want to teach it.

    Find it on Amazon

DBT at Aurora

Grief

  • It's OK That You're Not OK

    Megan Devine

    The book we recommend most often after a death. Devine's central argument is that grief is not a problem to be solved, which is a relief to hear when everyone around you is trying to fix you.

    Find it on Amazon

  • The Year of Magical Thinking

    Joan Didion

    Not instructional. It is an account of the first year after her husband's death, and its value is recognition rather than advice.

    Find it on Amazon

Borrowing rather than buying

Most of these are on the shelf at the Morse Institute Library in Natick, and anything they do not hold can usually be requested through the Minuteman Library Network. Several are also available as audiobooks and ebooks through the same card.

We have no relationship with any publisher and there are no affiliate links on this page. If a clinician recommends a book here, it is because they hand it to clients.

The couples titles draw on research from the Gottman Institute, which is the basis for much of our couples work.

Questions

Common questions

Will reading these replace therapy?
No. They can help you understand what you are dealing with and give you language for it, which often makes the work faster. They are not treatment and cannot respond to you.
Which one should I start with?
Ask your clinician, because the right book depends on what you are working on and where you are in it. If you are curious what therapy is like, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is the usual answer.
Are these appropriate for teenagers?
Untangled, Under Pressure, and Brainstorm are written for parents of teenagers rather than for teenagers themselves. If you want something for your teen directly, ask their clinician, because the right fit varies enormously at that age.
I started one and it made me feel worse.
That happens, particularly with trauma books. Stop and tell your clinician. It is useful information about timing rather than a sign you are doing it wrong.
Do you get anything if I buy these?
No. There are no affiliate links on this page and we have no relationship with any publisher.

Get started

Ready when you are

If a book has raised something you want to work on, that is a good reason to reach out. Call 508-650-0991 or request an appointment.

Book a free 15-minute consultCall 508-650-0991